Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch

Top 50 Money Jokes – Short Quick One-Liners

Joking about the Perils of Life

I have spent
most of my money
on women and beer.
The rest I just wasted…

Cartoon: Seated prisoners discuss their crimes It was the perfect crime, until I deducted my burglar tools as a business expense.

The cost of living
is the difference
between your net income
and your gross habits!

If we really
did profit from our mistakes,
I’d be extremely
rich by now.

Money is always there,
but the pockets change.

What is the difference
between a gambler and a pizza?
The pizza can feed
a family of four.

I wish
I had enough money
to buy an elephant.
What do you want
an elephant for?

I don’t,
I just want the money.

Foreign Aid:
The transfer of money
from poor people
in rich countries
to rich people
in poor countries.

Remember the golden rule:
Those who have the gold
make the rules.

A family man says:
I now know
why I used to love Christmas
as a child.
I did not have
to pay for the gifts!

The taxman says:
We’ve got
what it takes to take
what you’ve got!

The fellow
who has no money
is poor;
the fellow
who has nothing but money
is poorer still.

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